Rewrite Your Stories. What do you tell yourself in the midst of adversity? Do you replay your failures or fears from the past? If so, why not try new stories based on what’s currently happening? What does the current evidence support? What’s something different you may not have considered that would be wonderful if it actually happened? What’s the best thing that might happen?
Reinforce Your Self-Regard. How capable do you believe you are at influencing positive outcomes? Do you project confidence through your decisions? What are the key actions you’d take if you trusted that you already had everything you needed to succeed in a specific situation? It’s helpful to write down each action, quality, and belief you’d have if you had all that was needed. Review this list daily as if they were already realized and practice being in that new possibility. Reality has a greater chance of fulfilling that which we believe is possible. Discipline and hard work combined with belief are your supporting players in this story.
Reinvent Your Connections. The ability to care for, be understood, and be united with others plays a huge role in our ability to reframe and to bounce back from adversity. Do you fly solo or are you deeply connected to at least a few people at work who have your back? If you want a strong network to lean on when you feel like caving in, identify 3-4 others who have qualities you most admire and know you well enough to invest time in your relationship. Initiate quality time with them on a regular basis, being real about who you and, in return, being great listener for them.
Review and Revise. The will to do what it takes in the face of feeling fearful can be developed. When you’re feeling anxious, review what stories are informing your view of the situation. Sometimes sharing these out loud is helpful. I suggest my client’s record a new ‘what if’ success story using a smartphone app, then listen to it repeatedly. Be alert for toxic messages that can deflate your will to act. Remember that toxicity can be subtle, like telling yourself you’re not smart or need to be perfect or meet unrealistic expectations of someone else. The mind’s natural defense is to prevent a perceived failure. Change what’s needed if the story or message your mind is playing isn’t inspiring your actions towards the outcomes you most desire.
Have a story about developing resilience? I’d love to hear it and help further learning on this topic as well as hear your good news! Your information is confidential and can be sent to: email@example.com.